8. They are a powerful tool you can use to change your attitude, your perspective on life and shift from a negative to a positive mindset. I see food, and I eat it. Today, I am thankful for this week. 52. Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today. 33. 56. A gummy bear. 87. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I cant see. Relax, its the weekend, just dont blink or it will be all over. Its not important to win, its important to make the other guy lose. "Life is like an elevator - Sometimes it stops. "Once you choose hope, anything's possible.". Laughter has always been lauded for its therapeutic effects. I can have peace, even when people irritate me.. Build a bridge. They shape our present and have an impact on our future. 182. It has many of the same goals as affirmations, as theyre both associated with positivity and happiness. How do trees access the internet? What is the tallest building in the entire world? 92. 185. 206. Its not easy staying motivated for work all the time. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. 96. I did not trip and fall. Its scary when it disappears. Well, life isn't just about glitz and glamour nor rainbows and butterflies. Your actions become your habits. 1. I dont worry about getting older. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact 2023 Quotement. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. Not me, but somebody does. I put my phone in airplane mode, but its not flying. Positive Daily Affirmations for Women. I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. Positive music, resilience, inner strength and a growth mindset lead to success!. New year, new me. Ann Landers, 244. Today, I choose to put on my positive pants. 134. 11. How Do People Share The News About Their Engagements? But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. The best way for me to appreciate my job is to imagine myself without one. Youre just gonna feel embarrassed for a minute or two and then it will be over. Im not weird, Im just limited edition. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Today is a great day. He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. Some people are like clouds. To put your affirmations into practice, follow these steps. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. Because they make up everything. 'If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some.'. 228. 25. Choose words that make you feel confident about yourself. What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? I am enough. I make a difference by showing up fully. 101. 167. Nobody is listening, but you still feel embarrassed. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. - Benjamin Franklin. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldnt walk to the donut shop. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow. 250. Next up is a collection of funny affirmations that will make you love yourself more. Remember, no one can make you feel anything other than what YOU allow yourself. Why did the can crusher quit his job? I am loving all the bad experiences because they are giving me something . Finding humor in a difficult situation helps me win. I love my body. Its a door, thats how they work. 3. 123. 62. 2. 109. 22. If you steal from one author, its plagiarism; if you steal from many, its research. 113. 113. 37. 173. Life is a game full of little and big surprises. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. 41 Positive Affirmations & Positive Quotes To Treasure You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart. So far, so good. Being funny seems to be taking less effort. I sometimes might be too much, but I am always enough. 133. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. I will tell the negative voice inside my head to shut up. 57. I can have peace, even when people irritate me. 125. I didnt fall, Im just spending some quality time with the floor. 180+ Positive Affirmations For Kids To Boost Motivation And Confidence I can believe in myself for 5 minutes. Take a dose of encouragement from your positive affirmations whenever youre feeling down. 146. Im gonna be worse., 12. Short Funny Affirmations. I dont suffer from insanity. It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 9. I can't make everyone happy, I'm not tequila. 9. 267. INSPIRATIONAL positive mindset affirmation #shorts #short #shortvideo Even if youre a skeptic, you must admit these funny affirmations really work. The rest are too expensive. 221. I love my kids, which means I am doing just fine. Whenever I get back home, I lose all the superpowers that I had when with friends. 128. 65. But you're not as old as you're going to be.". 215. Heres a list of important things to consider: Choosing the perfect affirmation from our list isnt much different. Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. Leave me a if you agree! 119. Chop your own wood. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. ~ Bill Gates. Use them throughout the day whenever you experience negative thoughts. I am changing all my useless things into something productive by working on them. 277. I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me., 8. Yeah, so is a grenade. Why is England the wettest country? Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. 269. Whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? 126. 246. I am the sunshine even when its gloomy outside. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny. 279. Short Positive Affirmations "I Am" Affirmations. 103. Funny Daily Affirmations. When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. Sometimes the M is silent. 45. 165. "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.". You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish. You may have people laugh at you instead of with you. Snowballs. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. My jokes do. Self-love is the greatest middle finger of all time., See also: 210 Killer Self Love Captions For Instagram To Lift You Up. Read next: 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. Rome wasnt built in a day. 156. Bill Murray You can write them down and use them whenever you're attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. Dear Monday, my mama doesn't like you and she likes everyone. 57. 147. 154 Short, Positive Affirmations that are Easy to Remember Ill keep going forward even if my pants tear off. I ve had great success using daily affirmations for my personal development. There's value in patting yourself (and your friends) on the back.Positive affirmations are statements that can help brighten your outlook on the world when you say them to yourself regularly or write them down in a journal.While affirmations are no substitute for professional help such as therapy when you're experiencing anxiety or depression, those who swear by the power of uplifting . They planet. I intend to live forever. Never take life seriously. Absorb these 41 positive quotes and positive affirmations and start feeling positive now! I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Once youve chosen one of our affirmations or devised your own, its time to put it into practice. And a funny bone. I dont care! The chains on my mood swing just snapped. 75. Cry a river. At night, I cant fall asleep. Plus, youre never gonna become funny and charismatic by being afraid to speak your mind. 79. We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much. Good morning! I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. 277. 174. "Life is like a roller coaster pic - scary at the moment, funny looking back.". I want to afford them., 2. [click_to_tweet tweet=I can always think of something funny to say. quote=I can always think of something funny to say. theme=style4], 2023 Oldtown Publishing LLC 479 State Route 17 N 4. 84. Let us know which of these motivational affirmations inspired you the most. Declare your affirmations slowly and clearly. 112. Superwoman: single. It may look like Im doing nothing, but in my head, Im quite busy. 101. Even on my worst day, Ive still got 24 hours., 6. You can only be young once. 274. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldnt complain. Life doesnt have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. I wonder why spiderman narrated it the other way round. Is it perfect? We all have different and distinctive senses of humor thats what makes us such unique individuals. 26. 106. 44. In the morning, I cant get up. Ted Turner. I am wise enough to make the same mistake again!, 8. - Unkmown. I have a new hairstyle today, its called I tried., 136. What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Emphasis on the cool. Im so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. Infographic: What is the Ultimate Commitment. Yes, officer, I saw the speed limit, I just didnt see your car. Bill Murray. Why cant you play cards on a small boat? An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough. For the best seat in the house, youll have to move the dog. After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F. 204. I am adventurous. I get up, dress up, and show up. Can February march? I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full. 48. 162. 189. Its called tomorrow. So, here's our compilation of funny work quotes that are perfect for every workplace: Image Source: Unsplash. 110. I'm amusing and people enjoy talking to me. If you see affirmations that say " I will, " " I used to, " or " I'm going to, " then this is NOT an affirmation. The following is the list of some humorous affirmations for you: I am doing all the amazing things because I am an amazing human being. Henny Youngman Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. I am my childs greatest comfort. Whatever you must do todaydo it with the confidence of a 4-year-old in a Batman cape., 2. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. 8. "I make people laugh, whether it's with me or at me.". What do computers eat for a snack? Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. 188. You may feel a little embarrassed and vulnerable. However, just saying these statements out loud wont cut it. A wishbone. 37. Bill Murray, 257. 10. I am lazy till I get a motive. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. Benjamin Franklin My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me. 95. Who says nothing is impossible? People wont be going to bed thinking about that one bad joke you made. Wilson Mizner, 262. 97. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Franklin Jones, 259. 206. health is important. Walter Bagehot. 247. If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 -9 years, you can believe in yourself for at least 5 minutes. 176. 170. 98. Those who snore always fall asleep first. I thought you said extra fries. Im not insulting you. Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? Revenge sounds so mean, thats why I prefer to call it Returning the favor.. 137. 1. I radiate calmness and tranquility, with a little side of body odor. The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. Alison Boulter I didnt give you the finger, you earned it. 3. Today I will embrace the poop., 7. So, you promise yourself from tomorrow on, youll be starting your days using affirmations. Affirmations are an opportunity to be honest with ourselves and recognize that we have a treasure trove of power and creativity within us. 109. Shoot for the moon. Why was six scared of seven? Hello little voice inside my head, please just shut up. I dont need validation from others to know Im killing it. Youre basically a houseplant with complicated emotions., 11. 153. I am grateful for that time. Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat. I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me. Every day I become calmer and do more good for the world. 76. Im not weird, Im just limited edition. Here are the 200 best sarcastic quotes, from funny comments, sayings, and phrases dripping with snarky sarcasm. I keep moving forward even if my pants come off. When life closes a door, just open it again. 163. If you woke up feeling drained and blurry, these funny affirmations will boost your energy and get you ready to slay the day! 97. Lorrin L. Lee. Its called tomorrow. Life is always easier with some humor, smiles, laughter and fun. I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. 117. Sam Levenson Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. Excuse me please, I have to go hide a treasure. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? 39. When I can laugh at myself, life becomes so much easier. My windows arent dirty, my dog is painting. 7. 122. Making everyone angry, piece of cake. 23. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. - Donald Trump. Focus on the positives and be grateful. Frances McDormand My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash. They say dont try this at home so Im coming over to your house to try it. Sincerely, the floor. "I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. Never ask a starfish for directions. Sincerely, yourself. , we dont need our internal dialogue to pile on too. 171. Theres no stopping me now. We have a connection. Laughter brings me closer to people. I feel great. 1. Love your enemies. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. 19 Positive Affirmations That'll Change the Way You Think 192. 28. Treat me like a joke and Ill leave you like its funny., 4. I am finding fun and joy in everything I do and everywhere I go.
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